Crack for Preschoolers

I watched Olivia last night while her parents went out. Since I usually don't watch her in the evenings, her parents allowed us to make the night into a party of our own. Olivia was allowed to rent a video.

Olivia's choice was 'The Adventures of Jasmine." Olivia loves Jasmine. She was very excited. It's part of the Princess Series of videos. Frankly, I was expecting total crap entertainment: poorly written, poorly animated, poorly executed. But I was ready to look interested.

It was even worse than I'd expected.

It started with a commercial for Disney's Princess Party DVD, which takes a lucky girl through the process of planning and executing the Perfect Princess Party for her friends. It reminded me of a prechool version of the "How to Be Popular" movie from the '50s. It was full of suggestions such as, "Remember, accessorizing is the key!" while a high-pitched soprano sang in the background, "Let's play princess!!!" I didn't think Olivia was paying much attention, as she was looking around the room and asking where Jasmine was. (silly me)

We moved on to the video. The first cartoon was all about Jasmine's worries about losing Aladdin to an evil mermaid. It was full of lements such as, "What will I do without my boyfriend?" The rest of the cartoons featured comments such as, "Jasmine, you're a girl, what would you know?" I was sick. Absolutely sick.

I was hoping that Olivia was only paying partial attention. The jokes were over her head, the pace was entirely too fast for her, and she was clearly bored with the video (although we couldn't turn it off, either). Even with my help (and I was cheery about it), she was having trouble figuring out what was happening, on the most basic level.

Oh, she was watching, alright.

When it was all over, she asked me what I thought of the evil mermaid in the first episode. I said I thought she was mean. Olivia said she was pretty, and Aladdin liked her because she was pretty and said nice things about him. So I mentioned that she wasn't being honest, that she was only saying nice things but didn't really mean them. Olivia's conclusion was, "It's ok. She is good at making friends."

She also remembered the Princess Party. Turns out she's already been invited to one. She had to check the invitation, and she was right, it was the invitation from the video. "OH, Kristen!!!" She exlaimed, "A PRINCESS PARTY!!!" Her eyes actually sparkled with tears of joy, "I have to remember to ax-sess-or-ize."