You know you're in Austin when...

...it drops 28 degrees within one day.

(Wednesday high was 103F, Thursday was in the mid-70's.)

Or, when you plan your morning commute route based on the location of a good breakfast taco stand.

...When there's a man with a goatee in black hose and high-heels walking down Congress Ave., and you don't think twice about it, except that you wonder what it would have been like if he actually won the mayoral race. (His name is Leslie, and he's as familiar as Vinne & Angelo in Rochester.)

When some of the best BBQ is sold at a restaurant who touts themselves to have the Worst BBQ in Texas, and they also sell gas at their full-service station. (Rudy's)

When you honk at the guy who just cut you off while he's talking on his cell phone, and he manages to flick you off with the hand he should be driving with....and it's only 8:30am.

When the population of the city increases/decreases by about 50K when the UT summer break ends/begins.

When you look forward to going to HEB on the way home from work because they have taste-testing stands, and fresh tortillas to snack on, and a cook who will let you try lamb chops in a delightful plum sauce, who will give you a recipe card so you can never make it at home.

When you hear anyone pronounce "HEB" as anything but the letters H, E, B, you realize they're not from 'round here.

When evening rush hour begins at 4pm, and ends at 7pm......except for Friday rush hour which begins Thursday afternoon.

When half the people you know (professionally) are working for start-ups, and you know at least one person who lost their job during the internet bubble burst a couple years ago.

When there's an HEB on every corner, and a gas station on every other corner. And if you have to travel more than a quarter mile to find any one of those places, you're doing something wrong.

When on game day, the entire city wears burnt orange.

When wearing a shirt with the word "Oklahoma" written on it will yield a general uneasyness because of all the evil stares you'll receive wherever you go (unless you're actually in Oklahoma.)

When you see someone (from the back) wearing a shirt that says "Body by Queso", you know they work or did work at a restaurant called El Arroyo.

When its exciting to drive by El Arroyo on 5th street because you never know what their sign will say each day.

When you went to Chuy's (restaurant) long before President Bush's daughter got busted for underage drinking there.

When you enjoy going to the Salsa Festival at Waterloo park in mid-summer when it's over 100 degrees out because you can taste test habanero salsa that will make your eyes water and nose sweat.....for free.

When you first hear that Fredericksburg Peaches are ripe and in season, and your mouth begins to water already.

When you see a sign while driving that says "Now entering Austin City Limits", and you realize that for as long as you've lived within the city limits, you've never been to a taping of the PBS show with the same name.

When its worth it to live in a neighborhood with a homeowners' association, because neighborhoods that don't have them look like crap......because they can.

When a tiny 2 bedroom 1 bath house built in the 1950's in zip code 78704 is worth about five-hundred thousand dollars.

When everybody who owns a house knows what type of grass they have, and the benefits and detriments of having that particular variety. To prove my point, we have St. Augustine, which chokes out weeds well, but doesn't handle direct sun well without proper watering.

When having the A/C go out in your car or home warrants as much emergency attention as finding out all the arteries to your heart are 98% clogged....which also may be possible depending on how many cheese enchiladas per week you consume. However, fixing the A/C still ranks higher.

When you hear someone mention "scorpions," you don't first think of an 80's band, but rather an animal you don't want to find in your house.

When you hear someone mention "gourds" or "scabs", you first think of local bands, not vegetables or....scabs.

When you know what a "Dellionaire" is.

When you've actually seen the "Round Rock."

When there's a marathon or "fun run" almost every other weekend in the Spring and Summer.

When loops are straight (Mopac), and most roads are four-digits long, and begin with two-letter acronyms (RM2222, FM1626, FM1826, etc.), and you're still not entirely sure what they stand for.

When the #1 bumper sticker in Austin reads "Keep Austin Weird."

When you hear someone say they're catching the 'Dillo, that means they're getting on a bus....but when they're catching an Armidillo, that means they're trying to trap that pain in the butt animal that is digging up the flower beds at night.

When the Barton Springs Salamander has the ability to single-handedly clear out the Barton Springs pool for days while they check for contamination that would endager its well-being, but it's perfectly OK to zone Walmart to build right next to my house.

When every Tex/Mex restaurant serves chips and salsa for free with your meal, and any place that would think of charging for that appetizer for it just doesn't "get it", and probably won't last long (or it's a national chain which you shouldn't be eating at anyway.)

When you long to be "Matt" from Matt's El Rancho, who owned a little tamale stand on Congress (I think), and was bought out when the value of his land skyrocketed, and now he owns restaurants all over Austin with the money he made from that deal.

When tamales with sour cream and salsa is a perfectly acceptable meal for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. OK, maybe not breakfast, but it's starting to sound good at 12:10am.

When you hear "Katz's Never Kloses", it is followed by "6th and Rio Grande" in your head. And then you wonder what would have happened in Mark Katz won the mayoral election against Leslie the transvestite, and Will Wynn, who actually did win....probably because his name said he would.

When you go to Magnolia Cafe at 1am to get migas or BBQ chicken tacos, because its been 6 hours since your last meal, and they're still serving. And there's a waiting list.


(These are just off the top of my head. I thought I'd write my own list here, because it's more fun than doing homework. I stole that one about rush hour, but all the others were just from sitting and thinking about it. Hope you can come and visit sometime. I'll take you to eat the worst BBQ in Texas.)